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Economic Stimulus, Bush style.
Thursday, my wife and I got letters from the IRS, I had heard about “the Letter” at work, so it wasn’t a total surprise. The letter was about my Government Economic Stimulus check, the U.S. government’s version of Dad slipping you a little something extra on Prom night, and Mom hugging you with her eyes all welled-up. Gee, thanks Dad, thanks Mom, thanks Mr. Bush, and thanks Congress, I feel all smushy inside. But what’s with the letters? You guys at the IRS sent me not one, but two letters, one for me and one for my wife, even though we live at the same address, and we file jointly, AND you are issuing a single check. When I got the envelope, and because there’s no window, I know right away it’s not the check, and let’s face it, a letter from the IRS is like a note from the principal that one of your parents has to sign. It can’t be good news. So I open the envelope with nervous fingers, and it goes on to tell me that I should receive my Joint Stimulus check for the $1200. Whew, “That wasn’t so bad.” But wait there’s more, and then you give me the bad news. I shouldn’t receive it until July 5th. Now that’s not such bad news, because I received the letter on July 3rd. But this was a full-page letter. As I read on, I came to the part that had the potential to take all of the hot air out of the holiday fireworks. The Government warned me, that IF I didn’t receive my check in 60 days, I should contact them right away. Now 60 days is a long time to play “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” “So sorry about the check, but we warned you way back in July. You’ll need to give it several more weeks, call back at the end of September.”
Like the Principal’s note: “Dear Mr. and Mrs. James, your son William is failing miserably, and he’s a constant disruption to his neighbors in class. We have beaten him often, but it hasn’t worked. He will have to go to Summer School, or stay back a grade in the fall.” Two days later there it is, the check, all stimulating and pretty in its envelope, peaking out the window. The letter had been a total tease, sort of like reading the letter from the principal, and then in tiny, fine print, it says: GOTCHA! “So sorry, but we put the wrong student’s name. Please disregard the previous letter about William’s abhorrent behavior. We will continue to do our best, and beat some sense into the boy.” So thanks George, you’ve really come through this time, but even at that, even to accomplish the simplest gesture of just sending out a check to each of us, it was complicated by the workings of the government which you administrate, and more taxpayer money was wasted. I know it’s a mere drop in the bucket compared to the deficits you’ve allowed to accumulate. I know you’d rather not talk about it, but why does it have to be made so difficult? William S. James, Stimulated |
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Site to promote Freedom Zone fz2878
www.fz2878.com
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